Libido & The Nervous System
A waning or diminished libido can be one of the most significant indicators that our mental, emotional, or physiological health is seeking our attention. Strong libido is a signifier of our overall health, vitality, and our ability to regulate our nervous system. When we are well-fed, deeply nourished, well resourced, balanced, and replenished, our body can thrive rather than merely survive.
The parasympathetic nervous system is often described by its "rest and digest" function, but it also governs our "feed and breed" responses. When this system operates effectively, it signals to the body that it is safe to digest, rest, tend and befriend, to slow down, to make love, and enjoy life's pleasures.
However, when the body encounters significant stressors—whether mental, emotional, physiological, environmental, or existential—our libido and fertility/virility decline sharply. Our bodies, being highly intelligent, are designed to conserve energy during survival mode, prioritizing essential functions for immediate survival over our reproductive functions.
Libido represents the body's surplus energy. When the body is chronically overstimulated and perceives danger on a consistent basis (chronic dysregualtion or in sympathetic response), it will gradually shut down sexual responsiveness and even fertility to conserve energy. Activation of the sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight or flight response, redirecting blood flow away from non-essential functions like digestion and sexual arousal, preparing the body for immediate physical action.
A diminished libïdo is a clear indication that the body is signaling distress and requires attention and care. Restoring libido involves a comprehensive approach, starting with attentiveness to the body's needs and investigating in order to identify the root causes.
Where we begin assessing in a holistic approach to restoring your erotic energy & libido:
Listen to Your Libido as a Health Indicator: A waning libido can signal underlying mental, emotional, or physiological imbalances. Addressing the root causes of diminished sexual desire is a crucial step toward restoring overall vitality.
Prioritize Nervous System Regulation: A strong libido is closely tied to a well-regulated nervous system. Support your parasympathetic "rest and digest" system by creating environments of calm, safety, and nourishment that allow the body to relax and experience pleasure.
Address Chronic Stress: Prolonged stress causes the body to conserve energy, shutting down libido and reproductive functions. Managing stress through mindful practices like relaxation techniques, meditation, or breathwork can help bring the body out of "fight or flight" mode and back into a state of sexual receptivity.
Support Physical Health with Basics: Hydration, mineral-rich nutrition, quality sleep, regular movement, and optimal digestion are all foundational to libido. Attending to these basics ensures the body has enough surplus energy to devote to sexual wellness.
Cultivate Emotional Well-being and Fulfilling Relationships: Emotional health and satisfying relationships play a major role in sexual desire. Engage in fulfilling, nurturing connections and explore any emotional stressors that might be dampening your libido.
Investigate Underlying Health Conditions: Low libido may be linked to infections, illnesses, inflammation, or other health issues. Regular check-ups and awareness of your body's state can help you catch any physiological problems affecting sexual health.
By delving into these questions and address these factors, we can begin to restore balance and improve overall well-being. At Erotica Botanica, I offer integrative support to help you restore your libido and overall sexual wellness. Through personalized health care, coaching, integrative bodywork, herbal remedies, and somatic therapy, we can work together to restore your vitality, vivaciousness, and libido to breathe life back into your eroticism.
Let’s chat foundations of Sexual Health - STIs
It all begins with an idea.
Sexually Transmitted Infections / STIs are definitely not folks favourite topic when it comes to discussions around sexual healtjh. It be an exceptionally touchy and tender topic for many folks. One that can sometimes give rise to feelings of shame, embarrassment, disgust, fear etc.
According to the CDC, Sexually Transmitted Infections are among the most common infections reported each year worldwide. They can be contacted and spread through any form of sexual contact, but with the wonders of modern medicine and accessibilty of testing, the majority of STIs are entirely treatable with conventional/allopathic medicine. As well as being easily detected through a routine screenings. However, if left untreated, STIs can lead to many different issues, including painful sex, infertility, and cervical cancer.
The idea of screening might sound simple enough, but there are a myriad of complex and compounding factors that despite their accessibility and affordabilty, prevent folks from seeking proper care when it comes to their sexual health.
For most folks, any conversation around sex is going to instantly bring up the generations of programming and shame that we hold around it. Shame that has been influenced by ours cultures, religions, family, and trauma etc. Shame that we undoubtedly carry in our bodies. Shame that keeps us from taking control and agency of our sexual health.
Even the way STIs have been framed. If someone gets a negative STI screening, they describe themselves as “clean”. If someone asks them their status, they say that they are “clean”. Have we ever stopped to look at what “clean” implies? Well if someone isn’t “clean”- they must be “dirty”. What do we do when someone is “dirty”? While you may not deem it necessary to change your language around sexual health, it is something to bring awareness to. Simply changing the words we use creates sensitivity to ourselves and our communties that may have an STIs.
Outside of seeking medical care and tending to our physical sexual wellness, there are other crucial pieces to changing how we approach our sexual health. In my opinion, openness and compassion in conversation being one of the most significant adjustments we can make to attend to sexual health on a societal and inter-personal level. Most people’s automatic reaction to receiving a positive status on an STI test is to hide it. In shame and fear of being excluded, rejected and ostricised can lead us to bury it within ourselves. When we bury shame it tends to fester, and only perpetuates the pain that weighs us down, isolates and disempowers us.
It’s a simple equation: Isolation = Shame
The more we openly and compassionately have conversations about the topics of sexual health, the more common we realize these struggles are. The more naturalised they become. The more we share and discuss what is difficult with others and the more options and support we realize we have access to and the less guilt we can feel around them. These discussions create ripple effects. Your ability to discuss your sexual health openly may inspire someone else who was previously freightened to do so.
So here is my invitation to you….
Practice radical acceptance with yourself and with others when sharing any experiences of having been impacted by a sexually transmitted viruses, fungus or bacteria. I genuinely believe a significant facet of destigmatising STIs is by creating a positive and compassionate spaces for individuals to have these tricky and uncomfortable conversations.
I am commited to developing comprehensive sex education that includes STI facts and dispels the myths. Recognizing that STIs are common and can impact everyone who is sexually active whether you are using safer sex practices or not. Developing skills like the the “safe sex elevator speach” by one of my longtime mentors Reid Mihalko or RBDSM (more blogs on this tool soon), transparent disclosure conversations early in relationships creates an enviroment of openess and trust… I mean if we are willing to get naked and fuck someone, I fully believe we should be able to talk openly and freely about our sexual health status, let alone our boundaries, needs and desires.
With this information, you can gain a deeper understanding of your sexual health. Let this be a reminder to learn the signs for the most common STIs, get routinely tested, talk openly with your sexual partners about both of your status’/preferred methods of protection, and find a health care provider you trust.
Lastly, I’d like you to know that if you have an STI, please understand that your diganosis does not define you.
A positive diagnosis is not your identity or a death sentence for your erotic life.
You can still have a gorgeous, deeply fulfilling and thriving sex life. You are no less worthy of enjoying a life of debauchery and hedonism if that tickles your fancy…. There will just be different considerations, conversations and perameters required. Your ability to be open and honest with your story and status can provide an immense sense of reclaimation of your power, pleasure and healing not only for yourself, but for those around you.
This is how we truly begin to destigmatize STIs.
WHEN TO TEST?
After sex or any erotic skin-to-skin contact, if an STI has been transmitted it generally takes several weeks to show up on a STI test. In the US and some clinics in Ireland you will have to specifically request a HSV / Herpes Simplex Virus test from your provider. The free at-home STI tests from the HSE only include results for Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, HIV and Syphillis. You can request additional tests for Hepatitis B & Hepatitis C. Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea are both bacterial infections and generally have an incubation phase of about 2 weeks before showing up on an STI test. If exposed to Herpes HSV1 and HSV2 will it can emerge within 2 - 20 days. HIV takes about 7 weeks whilst Syphilis, Hepatitis B & C take about 12 weeks.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Barrier Methods; If you’re a sexual active human, you’ve probably used barrier methods. The barrier methods basically anything that creates a barrier between your body/fluids and the other person's body/fluids. Typical forms of the barrier method are external condoms, internal condoms, and dental dams. etc. Using barrier methods PROPERLY significantly reduces the likelihood of
WHERE TO TEST?
Wherever you are residing you can research your local STI clinic, Sexual Health Centre or Feminist Health Clinic. The Public STI clinic in your region can advise you regarding treatments if you receive a positive test result. I’ve included several links below for folks in the republic of Ireland.
Free & at-home testing service which is mailed to your door HERE
Hub for all of the. STI Services listed around the Country HERE
For Dublin-based folks this is the Dublin Well Woman Center has 3 locations around Dublin county HERE
RESOURCES; I’ve listed a few of my favourite sexual health + sex positivity personal favourites
ZavaMed
For recurrent STIs and for folks with previous treatments or diagnosis, you can order treatments online for delivery to your home or local pharmacy. Zava also offers pharmaceutical contraceptives, treatments for folks struggling with persistant Bacterial Vaginosis, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation treatments. HERE
Safe Slut
Safe Slut or Cassie Black is an NYC based writer, adult performer, content creator, and activist. She was diagnosed with herpes in 2019 and has since been been working to destigmatize STIs and slut shaming that folks with STI diagnosis receive whilst promoting sex positivity, safer sex and transparency practices for those with HSV+ diagnosis to help folks reclaim their power and pleasure. HERE
I’ve experimented with just about every barrier method out there to see what felt the best at least for my physiology and somewhere along the way in my sex geek-sexcapades “for science” I developed a sensitivity to latex. So, I began exploring non-latex alternatives on the market.
The Yoni Nutritonist
A holistic guide to healing herpes HSV naturally. Even though HSV is not a curable virus, you can mitigate and reduce herpes outbreaks in addition to supporting your body in healing from some of the other secondary affects that can occur such as BV and chronic yeast or candida infections.